One of the final tests I need to go through before we can be approved for a kidney transplant is an angiogram. From what I understand, an angiogram is necessary to confirm that my heart is strong enough to undergo the rigours of the transplant process well. While I haven’t experienced any heart problems my age, diabetes, blindness and chronic kidney disease make me a higher risk patient. Hence the need for the test.
I admit that I’m feeling scared about doing this test. Right now, I’m honestly not sure how to put what I’m feeling into words.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I’m questioning my decision to move forward with the kidney transplant and the associated medical tests. I’m not doubting that decision. Nor am I hesitating about having this all-important test. Still, my anxiety remains.
The reason I’m feeling the way I do is simply this. When my kidney specialist discussed the need for an angiogram with me he told me that my kidneys would most likely weaken as a result of the test.
To date, nine months since I started dialysis, my kidney function has remained fairly stable. As a result, I am still able to pass liquid from my body naturally, which has meant that very little fluid needs to be removed during my dialysis treatments.
What frightens me is that this might change when I have the angiogram. In my head I know that I’ll cope with whatever happens and that if they need to start removing more fluid I will adapt. Eventually. But the possibility doesn’t make me particularly happy.
I also fear that the need to remove more fluid will result in greater discomfort, higher levels of fatigue, and longer recovery time from each treatment. And I’m trying very hard not to think too much about the impact that may have on my life and work.
All the same, I remain generally positive about the eventual outcome of all that I’m going through at the moment. I know I’ll pull through. I can’t tell you how much your encouragement and support helps to bolster my inherent resilience and positivity. And I remain grateful that I have the opportunity to travel this pathway, no matter the obstacles I may encounter.
By the time you read this, I will have had the angiogram. It’s taking place on 21 October 2025, and I’m writing this a few days early because it feels right to share not only my positivity, but also those times when my strength is put to the test.
Needless to say, I’ll update you on the results of the angiogram and, hopefully, will be able to share the next steps towards my hoped-for transplant.
