I want to talk about something that really confuses me – air travel. And if you don’t understand why I find it confusing, think about it from my perspective.
We drive to this really big building, where we walk from one counter to another, sometimes stopping so mom can get a cup of tea, and then go to a place with lots of people all sitting and waiting. We join them sit and wait… and wait.
Then we go to yet another counter and then either walk through a tunnel or catch a bus. If we go by bus we eventually get out and approach something that looks like a giant metal sausage with wheels glued underneath. Then we climb some stairs and get swallowed by the sausage, which is really odd because usually I’m the one eating the sausage, not the other way around.
There are rows and rows of seats inside the giant metal sausage, which is actually called a plane. It looks a bit like the theatre mom took me to once, except the plane has fewer seats and there doesn’t appear to be as much for people to watch.
Then the strangest thing happens – the sausage starts to move and grumble in the most unpleasant way, exactly like it has indigestion. This continues for a time and then suddenly my ears pop – which is quite a thing for a dog!
Finally, after lots and lots and lots of time… and a whole lot more of that nasty indigestion… they open the door of the giant metal sausage and mom puts me back on harness and we walk out.
Amazingly we emerge into a different big building with lots of new scents and people. Sometimes we go and wait by this long moving table with suitcases of all shapes and sizes on it. We seem to watch it for a long time, then dad randomly reaches out and chooses one or two of the suitcases… only sometimes we don’t bother and simply walk out.
I know I’m just a dog and I don’t always understand human stuff, but even I know that mom was only joking when she told me the giant metal sausages can fly from one place to another above the clouds – I mean, how naïve does she think I am?